In 2025, South Korea entered a super-aged society. The reporting team focused on the number '53.9%.' Among registered persons with disabilities in South Korea, 53.9% are over 65 years old. This shows that aging and disability are not unrelated. The reporting team analyzed health statistics for the elderly population and met with persons with disabilities, caregivers, and medical staff, amplifying their voices. The life of elderly persons with disabilities was a signal urging a bold shift in our society's medical and welfare paradigms. [Editor’s Note]
On the first floor of a four-story dwelling on a small alley in Yeongtong-gu, Suwon, Gyeonggi Province. Upon opening the front door, a simple space came into view. It was about 15 pyeong, consisting of one room, a combined kitchen and living room, and one bathroom. This room was set aside for three sisters who took turns caring for their 90-year-old mother.
Although it was November, when the chilly winds began to blow, the sunlight streaming through the window was warm and gentle. In the center of the room lay the sisters’ mother, Han Soon-deok, born in 1928. She had suffered from asthma, hypertension, osteoporosis, heart disease, and Alzheimer’s disease for a long time.
Despite the reporter's presence, Han showed little reaction. It has been several years since she became bedridden, unable to move by herself. However, even at the age of 96, her skin was surprisingly beautiful, and her hair was neatly groomed.
The three sisters said, "As we moved from the eldest sister's house to the youngest sister's, from the fourth floor to the first floor, taking care of our mother, 20 years flew by." The eldest, Jo Jeong-hee, is 73, the second, Jo Jeong-nim, is 69, and the youngest, Jo Jeong-suk, is 63. They have become a 'senior-to-senior care' family.
When the reporter remarked, "I hear you are known in the neighborhood as a devoted daughter," the youngest, Jeong-suk, waved her hands in denial.
She noted, "My eldest sister is looking for a reliable nursing home to move our mother there soon." She continued, "We said we would do our best, but in the end, at the last moment..." trailing off her words.
Taking turns caring for three months... the youngest son-in-law who even used a carry frame
Mother Han lived with her eldest daughter Jo Jeong-hee's family when she was young. She used her sewing skills to stitch quilts or prepared meals for her son-in-law and grandsons when her busy eldest daughter couldn’t.
However, after her chronic asthma worsened, Han moved to her youngest daughter’s house. The eldest daughter was busy with the business, and the second daughter was busy with late studies, yet the youngest daughter had some leeway.
"In 2011, I still vividly remember the day we moved into the fourth floor of the dwelling. There was no elevator, so we helped my mother step by step up the stairs. Later, we placed small wooden chairs on each landing so she could rest along the way."
Jeong-suk said, "The special time with my mother began with 'mother and daughter,' 'mother-in-law and son-in-law,' 'grandmother and grandson.'"
From that time on, Jeong-hee, Jeong-nim, and Jeong-suk took turns caring for their mother. Jeong-hee would care for her for three months, followed by Jeong-nim for the next three months, and then Jeong-suk for the next three months. The responsibility of going to the university hospital fell on the youngest, Jeong-suk.
A story of three sisters caring for a 90-year-old, view it as interactive content
The three sisters had their reasons for working hard to care for 'mother.' Han raised her daughters alone without a husband. Her husband, a veteran soldier, passed away shortly after returning from duty due to illness.
Han worked day and night to ensure her daughters wouldn't hear the phrase 'children without a father.' Even in dire poverty, she managed to raise her three daughters upright.
Jeong-suk said, "Not all mothers are the same, even if they are mothers." The three sisters united with the mindset of 'Let's give the love we couldn't receive from our husbands.'
Caring turned into a daily life akin to 'war.' In 2012, Han fell while going to the bathroom in the middle of the night. The next morning, at the hospital they rushed to as soon as the sun came up, the family received shocking news.
"The diagnosis is Alzheimer’s disease."
At that time, Han was 83 years old.
With the onset of dementia alongside various chronic illnesses, Han's mobility noticeably declined. An outing for her from the fourth floor of a building without an elevator became a significant event.
The youngest son-in-law carried Han up and down the stairs, and eventually used a carry frame to help her. The height of the stair edges always caused anxiety for the family while going up and down.
"Mother liked the youngest son-in-law because she always said, 'I am not jealous of ten sons.' She even called him 'my eldest son.'"
The youngest son-in-law took her anywhere she wanted to go, regardless of location. He never frowned.
"In October 2016, we also went to Jeongdongjin in Gangneung. I carried my mother and even let her ride a rail bike. However, I didn't realize it would be our last trip together. Just two months later, my mother suffered a fracture."
A room decorated with yellow clay flooring and cypress walls
After Han's fracture, Jeong-suk's wish became 'a free outing with mother.' The home at the top of the fourth floor felt like a 'prison' to Han and her caregivers who had difficulty moving.
In 2018, the couple Jeong-suk reduced their 15-pyeong space on the first floor to create 'Mother's Room.' They removed the bathroom and renovated the heating system. They decorated the space with yellow clay flooring and cypress walls.
To accommodate her mother, who always liked to be neat and tidy, they installed a sink in the room. They attached a hose to the faucet for ease of use.
They included a medical bed that could be adjusted for comfort, and next to it, a bedside cot was placed. The bedding and blankets were made of pure cotton, thoroughly washed and freshly prepared, while keeping the internal temperature at 25 to 26 degrees Celsius.
The youngest son-in-law made a nameplate reading 'Han Soon-deok' out of wood and hung it on the front door.
"This small space made my mother happy, as she called it 'my home.' She said seeing the nameplate made her feel rich."
This is a recollection of Jeong-suk.
A story of three sisters caring for a 90-year-old, view it as interactive content
Han's weight was less than 40 kg. However, assisting Han, who could not move by herself, was not easy. Jeong-suk stated, "The hardest part was lifting and laying down my mother."
"There were times I nearly dropped my mother while sitting her on the toilet for a bowel movement. Changing her diaper wasn't easy either. I had to carefully support her head with my shoulder and slowly turn her to adjust her position."
During the day, the three sisters would watch the CCTV (closed-circuit television) monitor set up in the room, and at night, they took turns guarding their mother in the bedside cot. As they aged, each sister began to face health issues. Jeong-suk suffered from neck and back disc problems after years of caregiving.
"While staying up all night to care for my mother, there were many times when my body and mind crumbled. At those times, the desire to rest was overwhelming. However, if my mother showed a happy expression, it brought me great joy. There can be happiness even in the midst of a war."
Han enjoyed watching flocks of ducks at a reservoir about 1 km away from her home. While she was pushed in a wheelchair for neighborhood walks, she never let go of the flowers in her hand. When her daughter prepared red bean porridge, jelly, and fermented skate for her, her face radiated happiness.
The moment of decision has come
Dementia was a terrifying disease. Han became indifferent to flowers, showing no reaction even when seeing ducks or azaleas. Her attitude toward her youngest son-in-law, who she once didn't feel jealous of, also changed 180 degrees. She treated him as if he were a thief, becoming suspicious and raising her voice. Han was completely unable to move or defecate and suffered frequently from delirium.
The moment of decision arrived for the three sisters to give up home care. In the end, Han entered a small nursing home in Gwangjin-gu, Seoul, on November 19, 2024. It was not an easy decision for the entire family that had lived together.
In early December, the reporter visited Jeong-suk again. Now, there was nothing left in 'Mother's Room.' No bed, no handrails, no bedside commode, no adult diapers, no CCTV cameras, and no piled-up blankets were left; everything was thoroughly cleaned.
Jeong-suk seemed to feel guilty for taking her mother to a nursing home. She wiped away tears, recalling the happy days she spent with her mother during her caregiving.
"The moments when I rubbed my mother's hands and said 'You are beautiful, you are beautiful' keep coming to mind every day. Knowing that my mother said in the nursing home, 'I want to go back home,' breaks my heart."
Weeks passed, and the news of her passing was conveyed. On December 30, 2024, Han peacefully closed her eyes at the nursing home while her daughters were watching over her. It had been a month and a half since Han entered the nursing home.
Even amid the sorrow of losing their mother, the three sisters worried about the future that would come to them.
"Someday, my husband and I, as well as our future sons-in-law, will grow old, and I already worry about whether our children will suffer while taking care of us."
Having experienced such profound feelings themselves, it seemed easy to visualize what would happen to them and their children in the future.
Jeong-suk has earnestly advised her son and daughter to obtain a social work license early.
"I believe we should start preparing step by step right now to minimize the trial and error we three sisters went through."
Jeong-suk stated, "While nursing facilities where parents can be entrusted to others are good, I would love to see family-centered nursing facilities where children can take care of their parents directly. If such a facility existed, we could have taken care of my mother until the end at home."
She also said, "I sincerely hope that robotics engineers will create robots that can easily lift and lower elderly persons with disabilities."
The reporter recalled the last sight of Han, who lay neatly. With her hair neatly arranged and a calm face, how many nights her family must have spent awake. Jeong-suk's next words linger in the ear.
"This is not someone else's issue. There are more than twenty elderly people lying in pain in this neighborhood."