"Working at the logistics center, my personality naturally worsened. Overwhelmed by life, my compassion dwindled, and I unknowingly turned numb and cold... My body resented my will, and my will resented my body, day after day."-From Juan Yan's "I am a delivery driver in Beijing"
There is a person who has gone through 19 different jobs. A 20-year-old Chinese youth who was literally 'thrown into society' right after graduating from high school. Contrary to his parents' teachings that if he worked hard and did not bother others, he could survive, the world before him is not easy. Without academic pedigree, financial power, or social skills, this timid and sensitive young man with only sincerity as his weapon faces the harsh labor reality of contemporary China, which frighteningly grows centered around 'manufacturing and logistics.'
The giant global bestseller 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing' portrays the stark reality of China that has rapidly grown as a hub for manufacturing, IT, and logistics in an ultra-realistic labor narrative. Juan Yan moves across several regions and major cities such as Guangdong Province, Yunnan Province, Beijing, and Shanghai, working at delivery companies, logistics centers, gas stations, convenience stores, shopping malls, bicycle shops, and clothing stores.
'The logistics center was like a gigantic dock. A colleague's weight dropped from 90 kilograms to 65 kilograms in three months... We worked 12 hours a day. With a life turned upside down between night and day, we were often swaying without lying down, looking like zombies.'-From 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing'
As a 'necessary worker' contributing to the infrastructure of consumer society with youth and physical strength, the sentences he passed through are precise without exaggeration or sympathy. From hotels to gas stations, from logistics to shopping malls, witnessing the harsh efficiency of socialist China that recycles jobs across the industrial spectrum as 'substitutable manpower' and the mutual distrust of Chinese workers who lose sympathy for one another while turning into opportunists made my heart ache.
China is too vast, too competitive, and changes too rapidly, frequently betraying its people. It seemed difficult for workers, managers, part-time workers, freelancers, or even customers to thrive in this environment. Yesterday's colleague becomes today's villain, propelling Chinese society forward like a giant gear.
Whether fortunate or unfortunate, Juan Yan liked working. However, the timid one, who could not look out for his own interests, felt helpless against shrewd colleagues and superiors. Like a herbivore mistakenly assigned to a carnivore zoo. Colleagues in the hotel's banquet department mocked him as he moved several chairs at once, saying, 'The faster you are, the more they will make you do.'
People soaked in stress bullied other lowly individuals. On his first day at the gas station, a colleague taught him only the basic operation of the fuel pump without exchanging words. Taxi drivers unleashed their stress and anger on the gas station employees while working. When they couldn't bully anyone, they abused animals.
Struggling to adapt in a hard-to-navigate world and failing to gain recognition, he began writing one day.
He read Raymond Carver, who described the breakdown of everyday life, and he read Ernest Hemingway. He wrote novels and received paltry manuscript fees for a literary magazine. It was a passion that transcended everything he had done. During the period of COVID-related unemployment, a labor diary he posted online garnered over a million views, creating a whirlwind, and his breakout book 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing' was published.
The book published by the writing delivery driver has exceptionally swept major Chinese literary awards and has been sold to 16 countries worldwide, with film and drama productions on the horizon.
Juan Yan, who shook the world as a multifaceted worker, touched on the sadness and escape of all working humans.
-Some compare your book to Wei Hua's 'The Three-Body Problem', and others refer to Alain de Botton's 'The Pleasure and Pain of Work.' What does your writing about work relate to?
"I have read Wei Hua's 'The Three-Body Problem.' Wei Hua is one of the most influential living Chinese writers. However, Chinese readers do not compare 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing' to 'The Three-Body Problem.' The two works are very different. Wei Hua clearly set Lu Xun (the author of 'A Q Confessions') as a goal and standard when writing 'Life' and 'The Three-Body Problem.' He symbolized and metaphorized ethnicity, sociability, and humanity from the perspective of the lower class in society.
I am much more interested in the practical and concrete gains and emotions of individuals. Above all, while Wei Hua's work is a novel, mine is actual experience.
-The labor reportage atmosphere is reminiscent of George Orwell's 'The Road to Wigan Pier.' It also brings to mind the film 'Nomadland,' which featured a delivery service at Amazon.
"I have seen the film 'Nomadland,' but I have not read the original work. The tone and scenery of the film were good, but I did not find a deep impression in the plot or dialogues. I have also not read Alain de Botton's 'The Pleasure and Pain of Work' or George Orwell's 'The Road to Wigan Pier.'
"To put it simply, 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing' is a labor memoir. My work was a necessary activity for making a living, like most people. I reflected on those arduous tasks and recorded them afterward."
-I was curious about why you changed so many jobs, starting from a hotel employee in your 20s to working at logistics centers and as a delivery driver. It must have been difficult to adapt each time you switched jobs.
"Since China's reform and opening up in the 1990s, many people have changed jobs frequently as large-scale manufacturing developed. It's not uncommon to switch jobs 20 to 30 times over 20 years. Most positions do not require complex skills, so one can start working after a simple training of one or two days. The pay is not high, and there are nearly no opportunities for advancement, and one does not rely on customers or networks accumulated in the specific profession.
People who do such work can easily change to other industries once they get bored with their current jobs without any sunk expenses. They can even take a break in between jobs or taste freshness in new work. Honestly, such jobs are not precious enough to be cherished.
However, once promoted to a managerial position or acquiring advanced skills through personal effort and becoming a core personnel with increasing income, one is likely to no longer change jobs. My situation was relatively special. For example, I did not only engage in manual labor. While working, I obtained a night school diploma and worked in art editing and comic production for three years starting in 2004.
However, those jobs paid very little and were even less than manual labor. The companies closed shortly after I left. In 2007, intending to make money, I tried to run a women's clothing business with a friend, but the scars I received were far greater than the revenue. After that, my outlook on life changed. Regardless, for several years, my age and lack of experience limited my choices. I could only find jobs like shopping mall security guard, convenience store employee, or delivery driver.
-So the primary reason for frequently changing jobs is…
"Because I did not achieve results that were worth my effort in any position."
The confession of not achieving satisfactory results struck deeply. It was more of a reflection of the absurdity of an industrial society, rather than a personal issue, akin to the England of the Chaplin era. In the book, when I see him as a logistics center employee and delivery driver, his patience in not resisting the unjust bureaucracy and selfish practices of the vulnerable is surprisingly admirable.
-I heard that youth employment in China is very serious. The news I heard mentioned that even graduates from prestigious universities struggle to be hired as low-level postal workers, leading many to remain idle. What is your perspective? Given the trade war with the U.S., what is the current employment situation in China?
"The employment issue you mentioned indeed exists. However, the unemployment issue I have observed in China is closer to young people not being able to find jobs that meet their expectations rather than being unable to find jobs at all. For instance, if you ask college graduates to tighten screws in factories or wash dishes in restaurants, they would find it hard to accept. As parents, they would also be dissatisfied with how to recoup the education expenses they invested.
On the surface, the spread of higher education has outpaced the pace of industrial upgrades in society, making it difficult for society to provide suitable jobs for highly educated youth. Let me take the example of the delivery company I worked for, Finjun Delivery, in 2018. There was a colleague who was a high school classmate of the branch manager at my branch. Both came from a small, underdeveloped city in Shanxi Province. The colleague went to college while the branch manager started working in Beijing right after graduating high school.
Four years later, the colleague graduated but was unable to find a job, while the branch manager hired an old friend at the delivery branch he managed in Beijing. Eventually, despite being the same age, the person with a higher educational background ended up subordinate to the one with a lower background. Viewed simply from an employment perspective, the four years of college education that the colleague received seemed like a wasted effort.
China's vastness and large population complicate the employment problem significantly. Depending on family circumstances, the attitudes of young people towards professions and work diverge greatly. Such issues cannot be generalized.
-Have there been changes in the attitudes of Chinese youth towards work? What peculiar trends have emerged in recent years?
"Young people have started to feel fatigued from 'neijuan' (内卷: endless competition) and many have chosen to 'tangping' (躺平: lie flat and do nothing). The terms 'neijuan' and 'tangping' are neologisms that did not exist previously but have emerged in recent years."
-The logistics center depicted the conveyor belt landscape realistically. When was it the hardest for you?
"The cargo transport terminal of the logistics company was eerily quiet during the day, but at night it was a large workspace that never turned off the lights. Every nook and cranny had imprinted itself in my memory; I can't forget a single one. The hardest part was the high labor intensity and the prolonged night shifts that wreaked havoc on my body. Among those who stayed after the probation period, less than half completed three months. Eight years have passed since I left, but I still vividly remember the exhausted colleagues."
-A delivery driver is like the ropes supporting modern society. However, the issues surrounding the work, relationships, stress, and compensation for delivery drivers are truly daunting. From absurd competition in the delivery realm to the conflicts between temporary and permanent staff, three-wheeled vehicles, lazy and diligent workers, strange customers, inhumane administrators… Who did you rely on the most during your six months at Company S?
"There was no one to rely on at Company S. I did not enter through a friend's introduction but applied independently. There were about 50 to 60 employees at our branch divided into ten teams, each operating independently in different regions. There were parts where team members collaborated but also parts where they competed against each other.
Some projects had good conditions that everyone wanted, while others had no takers. In that situation, one thinks of their own benefits first and does not support their colleagues. No one can rely on anyone else.
However, a colleague named Feige, who was temporarily assigned to my team at the beginning, was friendly towards me. Feige was what is referred to as a 'lying flat' person and only wanted to meet the basic workload; therefore, he willingly shared part of his work with me rather than trying to do more. Unfortunately, I only worked with Feige for about two weeks before being reassigned to another team.
"Why did you put my item in the delivery box? Did I say to do so?" he kept persisting.
"Then why didn't you answer after calling three times in front of the door?"
"In any case, you shouldn't put durians in the delivery box."
My hands trembled with anger. I realized there are people who receive kindness with malice.
The youngest among them had to pay compensation almost every day and eventually quit his job.
When it became certain that a theft had occurred, I lost the motivation to work. It was as if I had been hit by a train head-on and my mind had stopped working. I couldn't remember what I had done at all.-From 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing.'
-Who is a memorable customer? The patient grandfather who waited for his package? Or the customer who demanded that durians in the delivery box be brought out immediately?
"If I had been asked this question at that time, I would have answered that it was the customer who angered me, like the person who bought durians. However, feelings of anger do not last long. As time passes, looking back again, such individuals remain only as faint outlines, like weathered photographs.
The customer I remember most now is the one who commented when I posted about the impending closure of Finjun Delivery on SNS. They mentioned that I was the most responsible delivery driver they had encountered. They were not someone I knew well, nor did we share a lot of conversations while I was delivering their packages.
I had no idea they held me in such high regard until the comment was posted. In my memory, they were just an ordinary customer.
Managers in logistics or delivery companies were generally authoritative and contradictory. They summoned drivers late at night for push-ups in the name of discipline and instructed them to ask customers, 'Shall I throw away your trash?' while handing over items and to request a five-star rating. Those with lower rating scores were reprimanded at meetings. The timid Juan Yan mentioned that he could not bring himself to ask customers for ratings.
-"I am not a livestock but a conscious human being, so I do not wish to work under a whip" - This statement strikes deep.
"I believe a true evaluation should come from customers voluntarily giving ratings. However, most customers merely express gratitude verbally but do not take the time to open their phones and leave a good review on the app. That would be cumbersome and a waste of time.
However, the company evaluated our work in that manner. I feared falling behind in rankings and was critiqued. As a result, I ultimately left Company S.
-What made you angry, and what calmed your heart?
"When delivering, we constantly refreshed the order list, called customers, replied to messages in work chat rooms, and had to mentally plan the delivery sequence and routes. While riding my three-wheeled vehicle on the road, I had to periodically check the traffic conditions. Maintaining a high level of concentration left me no choice but to stay tense.
Such work easily leads to anger. Because time was always of the essence and I was already on edge, even minor issues like traffic jams, conflicts with security guards, or customers' pressure calls would irritate me. Anger is a spontaneous emotion that cannot be controlled with reason; at that time, I could not suppress it, even if I tried. Still, I rarely took my anger out on customers. If I did, complaints would be filed.
The most peaceful moment was when I returned to the branch after completing deliveries each day riding my three-wheeled vehicle.
Due to his diligent and compliant nature, the bosses liked him and placed increasing burdens on him, ultimately leading him to resign, unable to bear the pressure. I felt sympathy for the Shanghai bicycle shop owner who had urgently hired Juan Yan after an employee absconded with money from the safe.
The boss, who believed that half of worldly consumption is impulsive, was a natural warrior. Despite sleeping only four or five hours, he worked desperately as if he had taken a stimulant. He treated employees to generous meals, yet was always at odds with them and faced betrayal. He demands excessively and gives excessively, injuring and compensating excessively. He lived a life of constant passion, reminiscent of the high-functioning anxiety disorder patients prevalent in the neoliberal world.
-Shall we discuss the Shanghai bicycle shop? I found it intriguing how the owner and their colleagues worked and related to each other, especially since the owner was a very complex character. They seemed anxious like ants on a hot griddle, constantly weighing the pros and cons while working desperately, yet not obtaining a good reputation among colleagues and in the industry. However, they always treated you to delicious food, correct?
"That's right. The bicycle shop owner was passionate, motivated, and someone who would not bend to any obstacle. They treated life like a battlefield and were the type to fight until the last moment. While it was indeed burdensome, I held them in respect and affection. They were not a product of the times but were, at times, quite pure.
-How was it for you when you transitioned from being a guard at the shopping mall to working at the bakery in the mall?
"Honestly, the work at the bakery was much more enjoyable than guarding. Being a mall guard was boring. The area was not large, so it only took about 20 minutes to make a full round at a slow pace. I did not like chatting with the store staff either. Walking around the mall for eight hours was torture for me.
Once I was assigned to the baking department, I was busy the entire eight hours. I had a very fulfilling time. Baking was both enjoyable and provided a sense of accomplishment. Unlike guarding, it required skills. I became more proficient over time and felt myself improving every day. Each time I managed to bake a tray of bread successfully, I felt a small sense of achievement.
-You are a person who does not complain, is compliant, and has a strong sense of responsibility. However, you have a highly complex mental world. Perhaps that's why you were able to write such an excellent labor essay. Earlier this year, I interviewed New York carpenter Mark Ellison, who wrote 'On Perfection.' Though he held many jobs, he ultimately became a highly skilled craftsman as a carpenter. What connections can we find between the Beijing delivery driver and the New York carpenter? Can we find similarities about immersion and achievement?
"I haven't read 'On Perfection' by the New York carpenter. To be precise, I have never even heard of it. Therefore, it is difficult to comment on any connections between the Beijing delivery driver and Mark Ellison, the New York carpenter. However, I can introduce the universal situation of Beijing delivery drivers.
First of all, most Beijing delivery drivers are not locals but come from underdeveloped surrounding areas. Due to various constraints, the overwhelming majority cannot remain in Beijing for long. Aware that they must leave someday, they have no purpose in Beijing other than making money. This drives them to want to work more. For instance, they often wish to work over 70 to 80 hours a week instead of the standard 40 hours to earn more money.
When dividing life into stages, the Beijing stage can be described as a time focused solely on work, even thinking only of work. If they feel a sense of accomplishment, that will also be related to money. Although I did not enjoy delivery work, I accepted it as the best option due to the lack of better choices. After some time, I gradually became accustomed to it, and my efficiency increased, allowing me to adapt to the intensity and rhythm of the work.
For me now, the delivery job is like a demon, but it is already a familiar demon. I do not believe there were any colleagues among my peers who genuinely enjoyed delivery work. Even if they claimed to do so.
-After sketching the chronicle of numerous jobs, is there a particular one that resonates more affectionately with you?
"Chinese readers are ecstatic about the stories of logistics centers and delivery drivers. I did not have a job I particularly loved. Since I had already left the workplace when writing the book, I looked back at the past with a new perspective, and fortunately, my mind was more stable than it was back then."
-What do work, freedom, and home mean to youth?
"I respect individual differences. I do not wish to express opinions on the group of 'youths.' I am no longer that young. Looking back, my thoughts on the topics you mentioned have evolved and changed as I have aged. There is no single answer to these questions. Therefore, I think it is not a bad thing for young people to take their time to navigate paths toward work, freedom, money, and home.
-What has changed for you through writing?
"I think I have matured. When I recall my past self now, I am led to reflect deeply on the life I didn't properly digest during my younger years."
-Who has most influenced your working attitude?
"My mother. My mother has never explicitly taught me how to approach work. She has influenced me overall since I was young, molding who I am today. Much of my outlook comes from my mother."
-Have you had any admirable partners or superiors? To what extent can a worker become noble or vulgar? What determines that?
"I respected the owner of the Shanghai bicycle shop as my superior. I was in awe of her tenacity, determination, passion, and refusal to give up. However, she and I are very different people. I don't know how much a person can become noble or vulgar in the workplace. Generally, it often surpasses my imagination.
Humans instinctively seek to gain benefits and avoid losses. If noble behavior is praised and rewarded while vile behavior is criticized and punished, I believe most people would pursue noble behavior. However, the real world is very complex and cannot be perfected.
-In what way did logistics and delivery work teach you dignity?
"I am not a perfectionist, but I was afraid of mistakes and reprimands. Logistics and delivery work taught me to accept mistakes and adapt to them. The intensity of the work is high, and there are many uncontrollable elements along the way, so making mistakes is inevitable. In fact, mistakes are common and not that significant. Only those who do not work do not make mistakes.
Logistics and delivery work has profoundly influenced me, and crucially, it taught me how to maintain peace of mind amidst stress.
-Please share your insights on work and freedom with those seeking work-life balance or living as workaholics.
"For over ten years, I have moved from one job to another, working more than 70 to 80 hours a week. Excluding necessary sleep, washing up, commuting, etc., my leisure time was pitifully little. In the workplace, I faced various demands and regulations. I was swayed by superiors' orders, company policies, customer preferences, and market trends.
Unfortunately, what I experienced in 'I am a delivery driver in Beijing' sought to make me a tool rather than a person with emotions and judgment. Work had a decisive impact on me, and for a long time, I felt I had lost my subjectivity.
As long as I need to earn a living through work, solving that conundrum is difficult. However, just because something cannot be resolved does not mean it is meaningless. By recognizing and valuing it, I have cultivated a sort of possibility. Work may have filled every stage of my life, but it has not dominated my entire life.
At some point, I began to earn a living through work but still strive to pursue genuine personal value through that work. I aim to reach a state where what I do is not just a tool but the ultimate goal itself. 'Freedom' is a process through which I seek subjectivity in work and life.
-Lastly, please interpret the 'great disillusionment' you mentioned in the epilogue of the book.
"The 'great disillusionment' is an assessment made by Virginia Woolf regarding the tumultuous life of British lady Letitia Pilkington, who lived 300 years ago. Of course, Letitia did not like such upheavals. In her memoirs, Letitia revealed that her life goal was to become 'the gentle and harmless dove of a household.' However, she couldn't achieve her aspiration.
Letitia fell from being a young lady of an aristocratic family to living next to servants and ultimately ended up in prison for failing to pay rent. Some might blame Letitia's misfortune and adversity on her own lack of prudence. After all, those from lower backgrounds might have viewed it as 'ruining a good hand.' However, Letitia lived much more truthfully and movingly than those who led careful, smooth lives.
I was deeply touched by her unrestrained love and hatred, honesty and innocence, passion and courage, and even her petty sense of revenge. In many ways, I am completely the opposite of Letitia. I am weak, repressed, lonely, and my self-esteem is dreadful. Letitia is someone I want to be but cannot.
In the final stages of her life, Letitia was already in a desperate situation yet still did not lose her sense of humor. When I first read the line about enjoying roast duck while 'my heart was dead and collection notices piled up at my bedside,' I felt a chill. That sentence gave me the strength to face life.