YouTuber SummerSummer (real name Lee Da-som), who has 1.08 million subscribers, opened up about her feelings after belatedly confessing her divorce.
On the 29th, a video titled "the real feelings i couldn't tell" was uploaded to SummerSummer's YouTube channel.
Earlier, SummerSummer had married Dominic, an Italian American, and they often filmed YouTube content together. However, in April she belatedly revealed her divorce from her husband and received a lot of support.
She said, "It's already been several months since I reached 1 million subscribers, but I haven't really uploaded videos, only posted thank-you messages in my stories, and it's been a long time since the gold button arrived. I wanted to do a gold button unboxing. But I couldn't open it. I wondered if I deserved to be congratulated. Because I went through a major event in my life and it took a long time to announce it. I felt bad that I couldn't tell people about it sooner," she confessed.
She said, "Of course, I also think that as a content creator I don't have to reveal my whole life, and I don't reveal everything, but he was a big part of our channel, a part that played a role, and someone who played a big part in my life and felt familiar to you all, and I couldn't immediately explain that to you, so I closed my mouth and kept quiet. But there was someone like that. People asked, 'where did they go,' 'why aren't they visible.' It made me uncomfortable to be asked when I was doing lives. If internally you think, 'don't ask such things, I won't talk about it,' you can ignore or skip it. But I felt I had to tell it someday, and being repeatedly asked while feeling uncomfortable made me feel worse," she said, describing the complicated feelings she had until announcing the divorce.
SummerSummer said, "It wasn't that the person did something wrong or there was a problem that required explanation, but I felt guilty myself in a way. Personally I felt uncomfortable and felt I was hiding a big part of myself, so I couldn't celebrate the 1 million subs or do the gold button unboxing. So even though I received the gold button a long time ago, I didn't open it, and I thought that when I'm mentally ready someday we'll open it together, whether live or in a video, so I waited," she said.
She continued, "It was hard to say and hard to reveal, but even after revealing it my daily life looked so ordinary. It's not that I'm making it up, I'm actually much better now. It may feel sudden to you, but for me this didn't happen suddenly. Because I'm much better now I could announce it, but on the other hand, showing a fine appearance without explanation might make you feel a sense of alienation. You might wonder how I can be doing so well, but I hope you don't feel hurt that I won't talk about it in depth. I hope you accept that image as it is. Think, 'she can live like that,'" she said.
She said, "I think this experience has been a plus for me rather than a minus. I had a lot of time to reflect. I think I was able to become more mature. Living in the U.S. broadened my perspective and made me more understanding of others. Personally, going through this made me reflect on myself, and it's not necessarily a bad thing. I experienced marriage and divorce. So I experienced this too. It's better not to go through it, but even if you do, it's not the end of the world. Even if it's not divorce, when hardships happen in life, I think I'm indirectly showing how one can get through them," she said.
She added, "You can travel alone, have your own time, take care of yourself when eating alone, and cultivate time by yourself. Not outwardly but inwardly. Living like that isn't bad, and there are many people around who have gone through similar things. Before experiencing it I thought, 'is that so?' but then I empathized with what procedures that person might have gone through, and my range for empathy broadened. My perspective on the world widened; if you think negatively there's no end, but if you think positively I think you've leveled up in life. Even if I don't specifically mention or talk about it, the scenes that appear as vlogs aren't fabricated; they show how I overcome and live. That in itself is an explanation. You don't have to come out and say 'it was so hard'—I think it's unnecessary," she said.
In particular, SummerSummer said, "after posting the announcement I cried for days," showing a choked-up moment. She said, "I've never received such comfort from so many people before, so I cried reading each comment. I originally planned to delete that post after a while. I thought I'd keep it for a bit and later, when life is hard, look at the comments once. Or before deleting it I'd record the comment screen as a video and read it back. Ironically, after posting it I received more support than I expected, which really gave me strength and comfort. Even though it's an online relationship, you can receive such feelings. Some might say, 'what's wrong with her?' but there seems to be a bond formed online. I was so moved and comforted that I spent a week of uncontrollable crying. I'm very grateful. Although I felt sad, I'm very thankful and comforted. I'm very grateful," she expressed her thanks to those who supported her.
[photo] SummerSummer YouTube
[OSEN]