Group AKMU member Lee Suhyun said she hit rock bottom in self-esteem due to a slump and self-censorship, and moved many by revealing she was able to get back up holding her older brother Lee Chanhyuk's hand.
On the 1st episode of tvN's You Quiz on the Block, AKMU's Lee Chanhyuk and Lee Suhyun, who left YG Entertainment to establish a new agency, Yeonggam's Samteo, and are set to release their fourth studio album, appeared.
Although Lee Chanhyuk and Lee Suhyun still bickered and showed genuine sibling chemistry, it was striking that Lee Suhyun listened obediently to Lee Chanhyuk compared with the past. When Yoo Jae-seok asked why, Lee Chanhyuk hinted there had been changes in Lee Suhyun's behavior during her process of overcoming the slump, saying, "The last story when we appeared on You Quiz last time ended with Suhyun's slump."
Lee Suhyun said her slump started around the time Lee Chanhyuk enlisted, opening up, "It started as a slump about work, and as I endured painful feelings it turned into a slump about life. No matter how empty the spot was, I was confident I could fill it, but I couldn't even fill half of half. The disappointment I felt in myself from that was huge. Thinking I was nothing, I hurt myself, and I continued in pain until my brother returned."
Lee Suhyun said, "I thought it would be solved when my brother came back, but he ran forward like a racehorse, looking only ahead. His color strengthened and the things he wanted to do appeared, and the fun of doing things together began to disappear. I told him if music must be like this, I would give up AKMU. Singing, working and performing were no longer enjoyable, so I began a hikikomori life. I blocked out the sunlight and lived like that for about two years. I gave up on the future and saw no better future for myself. I was so lethargic I didn't even know how serious my condition was, but when my brother came he said, 'You say you're okay, but the fact you say you're okay now seems most dangerous,' and offered many very small suggestions, and I thought if I could live like before I should hold on to him," she said.
Lee Chanhyuk explained he reached out to Lee Suhyun because he pictured the future. He said, "Looking 10, 20 years ahead, I felt that if I didn't take care of Suhyun now she would later say, 'Why didn't you hold on to me then?' Seeing that future, I didn't want to be that person. When I imagined Suhyun not in front of my eyes, I felt I hadn't done my best. I thought I should do what I can while she's within my range, and that would mean producing Suhyun's life. I wanted my younger sister to feel the world I had seen."
Lee Chanhyuk gifted Lee Suhyun the song "Sunlight, Bless you" and helped her see the sunlight again. He proposed living together for two years to lift Lee Suhyun, whose self-esteem and confidence had fallen to the bottom. Lee Suhyun recalled, "I was so tired of other people caring about me. When I went to music shows people were all thin, so I always had to lose weight. With the slump and self-censorship overlapping, I let everything go. Food filled the emotional void most. I binged every day. Naturally I gained weight rapidly and my skin all split. As my self-esteem and confidence hit rock bottom, I stopped interacting with people. My social avoidance worsened and I was afraid people would stare at me."
Having completed marine corps service, Lee Chanhyuk lifted Lee Suhyun following his own experience and routine. Lee Suhyun said, "I did about three weeks of hard training. For the hunger I almost didn't eat. I ate only chicken breast and exercised all day. Maybe I might have run away, but I still grew a lot. Living together was uncomfortable at times, but without last year I truly couldn't have imagined my current future. Thinking back to three years ago, I never thought I'd be smiling in front of the camera again. Living with my brother made me smile in front of the camera again, and I consider it a blessing that I at least listen to my brother's words. The one person I trusted tried to save me," she said, expressing gratitude.
Lee Chanhyuk said, "Thank you for trusting me and following me like this. That someone follows and trusts you is something to be grateful for," as he looked fondly at his sister Lee Suhyun, who was smiling again in front of the camera.
Meanwhile, AKMU will release their fourth studio album, Gaehwa, at 6 p.m. on the 7th through various music sites.
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