Former girl group Rusty member Song Chae-ah exposed gaslighting by her agency during her idol activities.
On the 10th, a video titled "A girl group that suddenly retired 5 years ago, went to her house..a second life with a new job" was uploaded to the One Mic channel.
In the video, Song Chae-ah, who had promoted as Rusty leader Harin, appeared. She, who currently lives with her mother, said, "At that time (during idol activities) I didn't really have a room and lived in a dorm where cockroaches came out, next to a garbage dump. I remember that a lot. Compared to that, now it's just like a hotel," expressing satisfaction.
Song Chae-ah explained the timing of her leaving the team: "We debuted in 2019. We debuted in June, but in January 2020 COVID broke out, events were all canceled, so we had to stay at the company and couldn't leave. We couldn't go home; it was just company dormitory after company dormitory on repeat, and there were various circumstances inside the company, so in 2021 I decided this can't go on, I can't live my life, so with the help of a lawyer and a bit of help from the state I left."
She said, "Of course there was no income, and at our company we were always called debtors. They said even if you just breathe you're debt, I heard that a lot, but I don't know. If company people see my video—there aren't really people to call 'company people'—if they see it later for some reason they might feel wronged, but I think I was owed a lot of money. Personally, I was supposed to get some money from the company, but I ended up getting almost nothing; I didn't even receive 10% of what I expected to be owed, and then it ended."
She said the reason was that the company had them do internet broadcasts. Song Chae-ah said, "The company had no revenue at all. Of course there were no events, and then the company told me—I was the leader then—one day they called me and mentioned a name I'd never heard, saying to communicate with overseas fans, so they told me to do that. At that time I actually wanted to be liked by the company CEO. I was always scolded by the company CEO even for just breathing. I wanted to be liked a lot. So I felt I had to do everything they told me to. It wasn't like the places where idols communicate now. They told me to do that. At first I really hated it, but when they told me to do it I had to," she recounted the process of being forced by the company to do internet broadcasts.
She said, "But what changed from the beginning was that at first they said it was to communicate: because of COVID you can't promote, so as the leader you should be at the front greeting and communicating with fans. I agreed and at first, since we couldn't go home and didn't have family or friends' phones, I really felt like I was talking to people in the phone. But at some point the CEO started saying bring in money. I actually submitted the parts where they told me that to the court. Those things remained. So they told us to bring in money; at that time they had me and one other member do it. Things like that," she said.
She continued, "Of course we didn't do anything strange there, but I went into idols wanting to do that, and they made us do that. They said if you go into this (internet broadcasting) you can earn more money. They told me to move into this area no matter what, so I really did it when they told me to. Like a well-behaved dog I did as I was told, and I brought some money to the company in that way, but there was an initial promise to me. At first they said they would give a 7:3 split as in the contract, but it was obviously not 7:3, and for the first month or two they paid 1 million won. I thought 'I can finally get paid' and received 1 million won. Suddenly after a month or two they gave 500,000 won. After that it's not easy to bring up asking for money. After that it suddenly became 0 won," she confessed that proper accounting for money earned through internet broadcasts was not done.
Song Chae-ah said, "Our company didn't support food expenses at all. From start to finish we paid for everything ourselves; the only support was the dormitory. We had to eat, so we always borrowed from our parents. When I started receiving 1 million won I thought I wouldn't have to beg my parents anymore, but they didn't give that either, so the money I didn't receive accumulated."
When asked what made her realize something was wrong, she said, "That was part of it, and I always thought I was someone who was disliked at the company. But even now in my 30 years of life it's a mystery to me because I'm not the kind of person who gets disliked that much. If anything, I'm accommodating. Back then, for no reason I always felt disliked by the CEO. Because of that I became isolated from the world, so I thought I had to follow that person's words to be liked, and I complied with what they told me and later tried to be liked. But even when I did everything they asked, seeing that I wasn't liked much hit me hard."
She recalled, "At that time a close older brother I hadn't seen in years came. He looked at me and said you look seriously depressed. Even when I laughed while eating, if he turned away for a moment my expression would change. He said it looked like I was forcing a fake expression and asked if something was wrong, so I told him everything that had happened. At that time the term 'gaslighting' wasn't widely known. After hearing my story he said something seemed wrong with the company. To a third party it sounded odd. That was when it clicked. I thought maybe what I was struggling through was brainwashing."
She said that after leaving the agency she worked part-time jobs. "I worked cafe jobs for more than two years, and I worked at bakeries, escape-room cafes, as an office assistant, and at counters like academy desks. I thought I was behind others, so on my days off I tried to work even one-day jobs, pop-up jobs, or street promotions handing out flyers. I did those things. Because they often hired people who had done broadcast or acting work, they paid more than minimum wage. But you can't become rich from that," she said.
She said, "In my 20s, if I put it nicely I studied life, if I put it badly I wasted it. I couldn't play, and I didn't succeed, so when I entered my 30s I felt very impatient. Friends around me were already getting married and settling into society, and I felt I had fallen far behind. I thought if I'm behind I should live twice as hard even through my 20s, so these days I'm anxious if I have a day off. If a day off appears on my schedule, I join many open chat rooms. I apply to every posting that appears and send a lot of emails trying to get work. Not everyone always succeeds. I know that, but even so I accept that I'm a bit later than others, and if I accept that I should change. I think I'm working more realistically now," she said of her difficulties.
She, who currently works as a show host, said, "I always told my friends I haven't achieved anything. It was a time when my self-esteem was very low. I didn't succeed throughout my 20s and I'm already in my 30s with nothing achieved. I still feel very impatient, and I shouldn't, but I keep comparing myself to others. My friends have already done things; even within the same industry some already have certain annual salaries, and I compared myself. Lately that's been especially true, but some people say in the early 30s you're still an age when you can do anything. I thought being impatient makes things harder, so my goal now is just not to worry about others and go my own way."
[Photo] One Mic
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