Broadcaster Ahn Sun-young spoke frankly about her views on marriage. Her characteristic blunt manner revealed the depth of insight from 20 years of married life.
On the 11th, a video titled "Five things you'll regret if you marry without knowing" was released on the YouTube channel 'This Is Ahn Sun-young.'
On that day, in response to the question "If you got married again, what is the one thing you wouldn't do?" she said, "These days many people don't marry or have children, so they ask me a lot. I have a boyfriend, should I get married? Should I not? Then I always say this. 'Get married. I can't be the only crazy one.'" She delivered the line half seriously, half jokingly, drawing laughter.
Still, she shared serious thoughts about marriage. She said, "What you wander for becomes your land. In marriage you might say, 'Is this worth living?' or 'It's like a lifelong lottery. You never win,' but when you look back, nobody forced you. If you entered because you liked it and smiled, you must take responsibility until the end, and that is how the relationship grows. That's what marriage is."
In particular, she reflected on her past attitude, saying, "If I could go back to my 30s, 50-year-old Ahn Sun-young would tell 30-year-old Ahn Sun-young, 'Let go of the small mindset of not wanting to take a loss.' Marriage is not like signing a real estate contract." She added, "Back then I got angry if things weren't fair. I petty argued 'one for me, one for you' and split everything down the middle. Dowry half and house deposit half. If you're getting married because you don't want to take a loss, don't do it," she declared.
She continued, "Dating happens 'because of.' Because they're handsome, because they waited, because there's no one else left, and so on. But marriage is 'in spite of.' In spite of incompetence, in spite of laziness, in spite of a lack of filial piety—marriage is the promise you can't break," she emphasized.
She also shared thoughts on responsibility. She said, "In my 30s I thought the ability to earn money was responsibility. But now that I'm in my 50s, that wealth wasn't responsibility. It's keeping promises, keeping your word, showing up to work or school even when you don't want to. You need to look at that basic diligence and sense of responsibility," she advised.
She stressed the importance of family background, saying, "Marriage is not just a union of two people but a union of family and family. No matter how passionate the two are, if problems arise between the families it spreads like a wildfire." She said, "There is a reason arranged marriages have a low divorce rate. Family tradition and environment matter. I'm not saying look at family assets, but look at what kind of environment they were raised in."
She explained, "If it's a younger sister, I'd tell her to see how the prospective husband's father treats his wife. If it's a younger brother, I'd tell him to see how the prospective wife treats her mother. The mother is the most comfortable presence, so her true nature is revealed."
She added, "This is something I want to tell everyone regardless of gender. Watch how this person treats someone weaker or who seems lower than them. For example, if you've paid money but they speak informally to staff. I know because I worked part-time in a restaurant for two years. It's not learned polite, gentle behavior toward a date; there's things like 'ugh!' when doing something. If you miss that, your life can really be ruined," she repeatedly emphasized.
Finally she said, "There's a saying that you'll regret it if you marry and you'll regret it if you don't. I think life is a series of choices and responsibilities. If you choose high heels, your legs may look longer but your toes will hurt; if you choose sneakers, they're comfortable but may look shabby. If you choose marriage, I hope you don't regret it greatly."
She went on, "Married life is like driving on a highway. Even if I drive defensively, if someone causes a four-car pileup there's nothing you can do. Even if it's a sad ending, the movie isn't worthless to watch. In a long life, shouldn't you try marriage once? Go and do it once. Fighting!" she encouraged.
Meanwhile, regarding last year's divorce rumors, Ahn Sun-young acknowledged the separation, saying, "For several years we haven't matched as a couple and don't go out together. As parents of our child, we work well together and live 'separately and together.'" She candidly added, "Family conflict arose during the caregiving process for my mother, who has dementia. We decided to live apart because if things continued this way everyone would be unhappy." Ahn Sun-young has moved to Canada for her son, who dreams of becoming an ice hockey player, and is currently traveling between Korea and Canada for work commitments.
[Photo] OSEN database, video capture
[OSEN]