Actor Jung Si-a shared her daily life of walking on eggshells around her children's adolescence.
On the 4th, a video titled "A middle school second-year son's adolescence scarier than father-in-law Baek Yoon-sik" was uploaded to the "Sister-in-law is K.WILL" channel.
That day, Jung Si-a appeared as a guest on "Knowing sister-in-law" and talked. She, when asked about differences in educational views with her husband Baek Do-bin, said "After living together for 17 years, our roles were naturally decided. My son is the husband's responsibility. My husband majored in physical education and exercises, and since our son is an elite basketball player, he practically sticks to him like a manager and takes charge of our son, and I am in charge of Seo-woo. Seo-woo draws. She is attending a middle school of arts, so each of our roles is clear. But we're strict only with the person in charge," she confessed.
She said, "Dad is strict with our son and I am strict with our daughter. When my daughter doesn't get good scores I get stressed, but my husband tells our daughter, 'You did so well' and is too lenient. I think, 'You can't say that, if she paid a little more attention she could do better.' But my husband, J, schedules our son's days tightly. From my perspective, 'It's better for him to rest tomorrow for training. And he needs to sleep to grow taller. Let him sleep,' but my husband goes crazy when the plan falls apart. We're strict only with the person in charge, and that's where we clash," she explained.
Then K.WILL said, "But that balance looks good," and Jung Si-a replied, "That's right. It is," adding, "You see it well." Then K.WILL said, "That's the picture I hoped for," and confessed, "But I feel like one of them might be in adolescence." He asked, because the eldest son Jun-woo is a high school sophomore and the second child, daughter Seo-woo, is a middle school second-year student, ages when they are going through adolescence.
Jung Si-a recalled, "My eldest was in 10th grade and had a three-month bout of adolescence in 7th grade. First, his replies changed. I save and capture every message that was sent warmly because I look back at them later. I saw a capture yesterday from 2019 that said, 'Mom, when are you coming? I'll wait. I love you.' I thought, 'My son sent this,' but when adolescence came it became one-word replies like 'Yes.' No tildes or emojis. That's when I thought, 'It's started.'"
She said, "When Jun-woo was in 7th grade he attended Bangbae Middle School. I was walking down the Sorae village road and met him on the street. He passed by without acknowledging me. You know that sudden ache in your heart? Don't you feel that when dating? It really hurts when you break up. I went home, grabbed my husband and cried. Jun-woo looked at me like I was a stranger. I can't forget that time. Now there's no adolescence. A few days ago I asked him, 'You passed by without acknowledging me back then, why did you do that?' and he said, 'No, I was in adolescence, just for a moment,' sounding embarrassed. Thinking back to that time..." she said.
Hearing this, K.WILL sympathized, saying, "But when you're young, kids don't like it when their mom comes to school. Boys are all like that. They just don't like it." Jung Si-a said, "He was like that during adolescence, but now that Jun-woo plays sports he seems to have matured quickly. Maybe he recognizes gratitude toward mom and dad, so that phase lasted about three months and passed. Now Seo-woo is in 8th grade and middle school second-year syndrome has come. It's not very severe, but it's begun: 'Close the door and leave,' 'Knock before entering,' 'Don't go into my room when I'm not there.' When I said, 'Mom has to clean,' she said it's not necessary. She has her own rules," she revealed about changes in her younger daughter.
She said, "When Seo-woo draws and completes a piece, if I say, 'This part is a little...' she tells me not to evaluate her work carelessly. She said that, and I started YouTube. It's been a month now. One of my hobbies is visiting exhibitions with Seo-woo. I've always done that, but when I plan content of going to an exhibition with my daughter, my heart starts pounding days in advance. 'I have to get Seo-woo's permission, what should I say?' I tell my husband, 'Please tell him to help me a bit.' If I don't get permission, I don't say a word. I live being conscious of that,' and she added, "When I met older sisters who had children a little earlier than me and we were out together, whenever their daughters called they would be very conscious. They'd say, 'Sorry,' and I'd ask, 'Why are you so conscious of your daughter?' but it happens. This period is kind of..." she said, conveying it as an unavoidable reality.
But those two children will soon become adults. K.WILL asked, "The day you send them off from the nest isn't far away, won't you feel a lot of regret?" and Jung Si-a said, "Yes. I think there will inevitably be regrets, so my top priority right now is the children. I think the period of being a mom and dad is defined. Exactly until their senior year of high school. From age 20 they're adults. When they become seniors, my husband and I share the thought that as parents we should try not to leave many regrets," she said.
She continued, "In the past I had saved contacts as 'beloved my son' and 'princess,' but I changed them all to Baek Jun-woo, Baek Seo-woo, Baek Do-bin. These kids will eventually become independent. Isn't the goal of raising them independence? It's right that they leave me eventually. If I keep calling them 'my kids' it won't be right. In a parent's heart they always seem like babies. Even while watching them the childlike image remains. People always say children are babies even past 60, but that's not right. I'm trying not to be too tied to my children," she confessed.
About her husband she said, "Because I think of 'Baek Do-bin' simply as my husband, I keep leaning on him," and K.WILL joked, "You mean you could send him off anytime?" to laughter. Jung Si-a explained, "I find myself relying on him so much and, because he's my husband, I feel there are things he should naturally do. Of course he's my husband, but before that he is an individual with different likes, and if I'm struggling he could be struggling too. I'm trying to remind myself that before being my child or my husband, they are different individuals."
She added, "Thinking that Jun-woo will be an adult in a year or two makes me feel I should prepare my life, so I started YouTube to lay some groundwork for my life. As an INFP, I don't like challenges. Looking back at my life, I'm the type to stick to the path I was on, so I've been stagnant. I give Jun-woo and Seo-woo a lot of advice as a mom. There are times when Jun-woo can't make a shot in basketball. I tell him, 'First, shoot. Whether it goes in or not, do it. Even if it doesn't, there's learning.' That advice is really advice I give myself. I was someone who had many reasons not to do things. If we make mistakes, it becomes big news. Because of that, I was already timid and fear grew to the point I'd rather not do it. But we only live once, so like I tell Jun-woo, 'Just do it,' I'm going to try. My goal this year is to just try. Even if something doesn't go well, you'll gain something from it. Just do it," she added.
Meanwhile, Jung Si-a married Baek Do-bin, the son of actor Baek Yoon-sik, in 2009 and has one son and one daughter.
[Photo] Sister-in-law is K.WILL
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