This is a review article based on materials provided by the broadcaster
MBC 'Oh Eun-young report - marriage hell' 'Oh Eun-young report - marriage hell' features the 'each-house couple'.
On the 8th (Mon) at 9 p.m., MBC's 'Oh Eun-young report - marriage hell' (hereafter 'marriage hell') revealed the story of the 'each-house couple,' who have lived separately for 15 years and do not even share simple everyday conversations. The two, who said they married at first sight, are now in deep conflict with no sign of a solution. The 'each-house couple,' whose daughter applied to share their story and who visited the studio, voiced long-accumulated resentment and complaints toward each other in front of Dr. Oh Eun-young.
The 'each-house couple' has been living a de facto separated life for 15 years, going between three homes in Gwangyang, Tongyeong and Yeosu. Instead of the Tongyeong home where the couple once lived together, the husband settled in Yeosu for business reasons, while the wife stayed in Tongyeong where their daughter lived. Currently, communication between the two is mostly cut off and is transmitted mainly through their daughter. While they were warm when with their child and daughter-in-law, the atmosphere turned cold whenever the couple were alone. The husband desperately avoided conversations even when the wife tried to speak, and found it uncomfortable to stay with her, so he lived alone in the Yeosu house.
What is the cause of such serious conflict? The wife recalled her husband's past drinking problem, saying, "There was never stability throughout married life. My husband always came home drunk in the early morning, and when drunk he threw ramen at the ceiling. I lived in fear as if hit by a bomb."
The husband countered, "Aren't you demonizing me too much?" He admitted that he prioritized business over family, but said he was deeply hurt by the abusive words he received from his wife. He confessed that while he was taking time off work he was frequently ignored by his wife, and the abusive words he heard during fights were never healed. In particular, the husband recalled the incident when his wife scolded him in front of her sister-in-law as "the decisive event that made me close my heart to my wife." But the wife did not remember this at all.
The husband said, "If you compare my wife to an object, she is like an awl. I think I've lived enduring my wife's abusive words until now." In response, the wife confessed, "There is no reaction even if I stab him with painful and hurtful words. That's why I said things that would make me angrier." In fact, the two argued as soon as they began talking that day. The husband lost his temper at the wife, who kept interrupting and bringing up past stories. The wife apologized to her husband's appeal that he had been hurt by her words, saying, "I thought you were only strong. I'm sorry I didn't understand you." At the belated apology from the wife, the husband broke down in tears along with the sorrow he had held back.
In particular, viewers were saddened when the husband confessed that he suffers from cerebellar atrophy. Cerebellar atrophy is a degenerative disease in which the cerebellum, responsible for motor nerves, atrophies. The husband cried in front of the camera, saying, "The hardest and most painful thing is knowing there is not much time left to be able to speak and walk. My life is collapsing and I can't do anything." The wife reached out, saying she would take responsibility for her sick husband until the end, but the husband rejected her touch. Moreover, he asked his younger sister to take care of him rather than his wife or daughter and then notified the family of this fact, which made the wife even more hurt.
Dr. Oh Eun-young recommended that the husband, who is likely experiencing deep despair, undergo treatment for depression concurrently. She said that depression would accelerate the progression of the disease. She also advised that plans for caregiving should be discussed at a family meeting. To the wife, she urged persistent effort to accept others' stories without denying them. Instead of centering conversation on her own feelings and thoughts, the wife tended to focus on her own emotions and thoughts rather than empathizing with the other person's story. Repeatedly addressing the wife's tendency to speak only of her own position, Dr. Oh sharply pointed out the core of the problem, saying, "Ma'am, I'm really sorry," and moved on.
The 'each-house couple' wife said, "Seeing myself objectively, I feel I should accept the other person as they are rather than judge them," and the husband honestly conveyed his inner feelings, saying, "I'm sorry that my past of living frantically and putting family last became a wound. We can't hold hands and laugh right away, but I'll make it possible for us to sit down and eat together," showing a warmth of reconciliation.
Meanwhile, next week's broadcast will reveal the story of the 'mirror couple,' who feel the same fear and the same anger toward each other. 'Oh Eun-young report - marriage hell' will meet viewers at the earlier time of 9 p.m. for the month of December due to year-end scheduling changes.
[Photo] 'Oh Eun-young report - marriage hell'
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