S.E.S. member Shoo (real name Yu Su-young), who is living separately from her husband, and former basketball player Im Hyo-seong received couples counseling.
On Oct. 17, a video titled "first couples counseling in 15 years of marriage (does it mean anything to do it now?)" was uploaded to the channel "Human That's Shoo."
That day Shoo and Im Hyo-seong visited a psychological counseling center together. The producers asked, "Have you ever had couples counseling?" and Im Hyo-seong said, "No," and added, "I once suggested we try it before, but she refused." Shoo, surprised, asked, "You told me?" and said, "Really? Why do that?"
Im Hyo-seong replied, "Yes. I asked why we should do it, so we couldn't," and honestly said, "But it doesn't mean much to do it now." The producers asked, "How do you think it would be if you received couples counseling?" and Im Hyo-seong responded skeptically, "I don't think it would mean much." Shoo also asked, "Is there going to be anything more?" and Im Hyo-seong said, "It won't become more solid.."
Afterward, the two took the TCI (temperament and character inventory) and the MBTI (myers-briggs type indicator). The expert who saw the results said, "You two are very similar. Kind of like twins," surprising them.
He said, "The husband is ISFP and the wife is INFJ. Their personalities are similar in about half the ways, like fraternal twins. And the other half seems to act to complement each other." He added, "In the TCI test there was an astonishing result: the temperaments are almost identical. The husband scored 90 on novelty seeking. That's extremely high. His impulsivity came out very high. And his lack of restraint is also quite high. The wife scored 94 on novelty seeking. Her lack of restraint is similar. Both of them have high novelty seeking," he explained.
He continued, "Also, the husband has high anticipatory anxiety. He worries about the future. He keeps worrying about what might happen. But he is not very afraid of uncertainty. He has the ability to accept it. The wife has high novelty seeking and average harm avoidance. They are similar, but the wife does not have high anticipatory anxiety. She is not as anxious about the future as expected and, unlike the husband, she fears uncertainty. This may have appeared as anxiety, but she is more confident and has an ability to expand herself," he said.
He also said, "The husband scored 11 on social sensitivity: his sensitivity is high but he does not open up much. When there's conflict or difficulty, he distances himself. He is the type to go into a cave. At a glance his social sensitivity may seem low. He likes independence. The wife also scored 6 on social sensitivity. The wife's is lower. Novelty seeking, harm avoidance, and social sensitivity are the three temperaments that are the same. The wife is less sensitive than the husband but also does not open up, distances herself, and likes being independent," noting many commonalities.
Shoo said, "I thought we were opposites," and Im Hyo-seong recalled, "When we were young, it seemed we had many similarities." The expert interpreted, "That may have made you more attracted to each other. It's like another me." Then they proceeded with formal couples counseling, and the expert asked, "Is there a main concern or topic you most wanted to address in couples counseling?" and said, "The husband wrote down many worries about his family, and the wife wrote whether the children would adapt well to school and whether her YouTube channel would do well," which drew laughter.
He first asked, "How did you two meet?" and Im Hyo-seong said, "We met through an introduction when we were 27. I knew about her, but she didn't know me, and that's how we met." Shoo recalled, "A senior I knew had a boyfriend who played basketball, and he asked that husband let me meet him," adding, "At first we were friends."
Then in 2010 they married because of a premarital pregnancy. Asked about his feelings at the time, Im Hyo-seong said, "If I were going to get married, it was with this person; otherwise I wasn't thinking about marriage. So when the child came we got married, but I felt heavy-hearted. I wasn't ready. Fortunately, when you face it you live, so it was like that."
He also said about the wedding day, "It was so good. I felt a sense of accomplishment like there was no happier day. And I wondered how I could live more happily with this person." Shoo added, "At the wedding I was eight months pregnant with my first child. I had never properly worn a wedding dress. But the dress wasn't important; the reality of the child in my belly was so wonderful."
When asked about memorable moments from their newlywed period, Im Hyo-seong said, "The happiness when our first child was born is an indescribable feeling. At first the feeling toward the child wasn't that big. At first my feeling for my wife was bigger, and it didn't feel like my child. Because we kept having children without newlywed life, it's a bit regrettable," but added, "Everything seemed to fit well. Back then I was playing basketball in Incheon, and when I commuted early in the morning, even though she was heavily pregnant she made me rice balls," expressing gratitude.
Shoo said, "I tend to think positively, so when I was pregnant people say the husband helped with prenatal care, warned about electromagnetic waves and bought what I wanted to eat, but I didn't have that. Because I was apart back then. The husband lived in the dorm. I wasn't resentful, but people asked how I walked around by myself. I went and ate what I wanted on my own," she said. Im Hyo-seong regretted, "I'm so sorry and always feel guilty and sorry." When asked "How is it now?" he made people laugh by answering, "Whether she does or not.."
The expert asked, "Doesn't the wife tend to bottle up emotions and hold them in? The husband is flexible about that, so he could suggest going out for fresh air or a change of pace," and Im Hyo-seong said, "I tried a lot. But she didn't follow well. She would say, 'I want to rest,' 'I want to sleep,'" adding Shoo said, "I just wanted to rest a bit, to be alone. It didn't work well," and continued, "My thoughts about my husband seem to change a lot. We should acknowledge what we need to acknowledge. I hope we could live freely without rules. And distance. I'm fine with it. I'm very close with the kids too," conveying that she feels more comfortable after living separately.
The expert also asked, "Did you decide to appear on the wife's YouTube channel for a particular reason?" and Im Hyo-seong said, "I just support her. I help with parts I can to help her succeed. Actually I thought about it a lot. That feeling made me appear on the show," he said.
Meanwhile, Shoo and Im Hyo-seong married in 2010 and have a son and twin daughters, but recently revealed on their YouTube channel that they have been living separately for about three to four years, drawing attention.
[Photo] Human That's Shoo
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