Comedian Park Bo-mi recalled her feelings when she had to say goodbye to her 15-month-old son.
On the 15th, Park Bo-mi uploaded several photos to her social account with the caption, "On May 20, 2023, I wrote this in my notebook to remember after sending Simon to heaven. The love and courage that Timoni gave me, the gratitude and faith that God gave me, the reasons my parents can live brightly and cheerfully."
The photos captured the moments after Park Bo-mi had to say goodbye to her 15-month-old son Simon. The lengthy caption included the frantic moments leading up to Simon's passing and detailed Park Bo-mi's feelings at the time.
In her notes, Park Bo-mi described the situation of her son's cardiac arrest: "I saw the end of a really weak human at the emergency room. I was scared and terrified. The longer it took, the more filled with fear I became. This doesn't make sense, what is happening, what is going on right now, no, it will happen, please save him, but why isn't he waking up, why isn't our baby waking up? As the duration of the cardiac arrest lengthened, thoughts flooded my mind that brain damage would worsen, and I was terrified he might have a disability."
Amid all this, miraculously, Simon's heart started beating again, but given the long duration of cardiac arrest, Park Bo-mi expressed, "When I came home and closed my eyes, I could not stop seeing Simon playing in my arms. It was so painful and hard. At first, I wondered why this happened to me, why this happened to our angel-like son; I blamed myself and wanted to turn back time."
Afterwards, she prayed endlessly at church, hoping Simon would wake up, but his test results were not good, and he was practically in a brain-dead state. Park Bo-mi said, "It was so hard to see Simon's swollen face; he looked exhausted. Still, it saddened and hurt me more to think that Simon seemed to be waiting for us to be ready to see him. We believed Simon was an angel. We believed that God loved us so much that He chose us and chose Simon. I was sure Simon was already in a good place. However, every morning when I saw Simon's swollen face, I couldn't help but cry while I had promised not to. I was overcome with emotion multiple times a day; it was unbearable."
However, after the examination showed no response from the brain, they decided to let Simon go. Park Bo-mi reflected, "I felt that angel Park Simon waited until Mom and Dad made their hearts' decision. I was grateful and sorry to him. For enduring and enduring fully for Mom and Dad from start to finish, my heart ached, and tears flowed, but we vowed not to cry in front of Simon." She added, "We decided to let Simon go on May 20. Along with the pastor, my husband and I witnessed Simon's last moments. Maybe because of the pastor's singing, our hearts were also at ease, and so on May 20 at 5:17 p.m., Simon left our side."
Following that, Park Bo-mi expressed her gratitude to those who supported and comforted her and Simon, stating, "I am really going through a process of feeling and learning so much through Simon. Simon received and gave so much love in his 15 months. Though it may seem short, I wish everyone could find comfort and strength through our Simon who showed so many miracles." She added, "If Simon's heart hadn't started beating again in the emergency room that day, I wouldn't have been able to live fully, Simon. Thank you so much; see you in heaven."
Meanwhile, Park Bo-mi married soccer player Park Yohan in December 2020 and welcomed her first son, Simon, in 2022. However, in May the following year, her 15-month-old son sadly passed away due to a prolonged fever. She later revealed that she is expecting a daughter due in October this year, amidst much congratulations, with many offering their comfort and support.
Below is the full post by Park Bo-mi.
The miracle of my beloved son, Simon
On May 14, Sunday morning, our Simon had a fever. Even though he must have lost his appetite due to the high fever, Simon ate half a banana and drank milk, smiling brightly. After taking fever medicine, his fever slightly decreased but didn't go down completely, so he finished the egg rice his mom made with a red and blotchy face, then took fever medicine again and fell asleep.
I felt that the fever was rising when I touched my beloved baby's face, so I went to a nearby clinic where there were 23 patients waiting... Simon, who usually didn't cry, began to cry... Unable to wait, I put Simon in the stroller and asked Sister Joo-young and Brother Cheol-soo to take him to the emergency room and to at least get fever medicine, then I comforted Simon in front of Custom Coffee.
My beloved Simon... While he was crying, his older siblings arrived, and as we put him in the car to head to the hospital, Simon suddenly shifted his eyes a few times, stretched out his arms, then went limp and lost consciousness. Thankfully, thanks to Brother Cheol-soo's quick judgment, we could go directly to the fire station in less than two minutes, where many firefighters and an ambulance were waiting, allowing us to receive emergency treatment immediately. However, Simon did not wake up, and I began to feel anxious. I called my mom and husband, crying that Simon wasn't waking up and might be dead, and in a daze, we rushed into the ambulance and headed to the emergency room.
Many doctors worked long hours to keep Simon's heart beating, and I saw the end of a really weak human being at the emergency room. I was scared and terrified. The longer it took, the more filled with fear I became. This doesn't make sense; what is happening, what is going on right now? No, it will happen; please save him, but why isn't he waking up, why isn't our baby waking up? As the duration of the cardiac arrest lengthened, thoughts flooded my mind that brain damage would worsen, and I was terrified he might have a disability.
With feelings of guilt, many emotions were shaking in my head all at once. I thought there was a devil inside me. I should have begged to save my beloved Simon and prayed unconditionally, but in that moment, I was scared. A few minutes passed, and miraculously, they said his heart was beating again. If he had been an adult, I would have given up, but because he was a baby, I held onto hope. It was a miracle. Simon's heart started beating again, thinking of the dad and mom he wanted to see. However, the non-short duration of the cardiac arrest meant there was a great possibility of damage to several areas, so I thought we would have to conduct tests. I considered donating my organs. My heart was uneasy, knowing the duration of the cardiac arrest was long... and I suffered from guilt.
I was so eager to see Simon, but visitation was only 30 minutes a day. On that day, Simon looked peaceful as he lay asleep. When I went home and closed my eyes, I could not stop seeing Simon playing in my arms. It was so painful and hard. At first, I wondered why this happened to me, why this happened to our angel-like son; I blamed myself and wanted to turn back time. However, my beloved husband was by my side, helping me find God with positive words.
We aimlessly went to church and searched for the pastors. We spoke our circumstances to them in tears and received prayers. We prayed with all our hearts. As time passed, I began to feel a sense of courage that if Simon just woke up, I could raise him no matter what disability he might have. The fact that I couldn't see Simon was unbearable. At night, I was tormented madly. I waited only for dawn to break and went to the dawn prayer, where the sermon title was "The lamentation poured out before my son's death." It felt like God was waiting for us. I cried endlessly, praised, and prayed.
Then in the morning, I headed to the hospital. Only the primary caregiver was allowed to visit, so I went into the intensive care unit alone. Our Simon was more swollen than the day before. The test results were very poor, and he was almost in a brain-dead state. Seeing Simon's swollen face in the morning was extremely difficult, and he looked exhausted. Still, it saddened and hurt me even more to think that Simon seemed to be waiting for us to be ready to see him. However, every time I went to dawn prayer, it felt like the praise and words were responding for us.
All the family went to church together. We all cried and laughed while taking pictures. Then we all went to mom's place for breakfast and huddled together. We believed Simon was an angel. We believed that God loved us so much that He chose us and chose Simon. Many people wanted to pray for Simon, and indeed many prayed for him. Simon was truly a special baby. He was never fussy and always patient, giving the impression that he understood the world, not typical of babies.
My husband and I laid a recording device beside Simon's pillow during visitation, capturing the voices of the pastors praying for him, our voices, and the voices of family members who loved Simon. The nurses, except during rounds, continuously played the recording. Simon was receiving much love both in and out of the hospital. I was sure that Simon was already in a good place. However, every morning when I saw Simon's swollen face, I couldn't help but cry, despite promising not to, and I saw the weak mother's figure sobbing in front of my baby. I couldn't endure it as my emotions fluctuated several times a day. Yet, I was grateful for the wonderful people who helped us through the pain.
We met the hospital pastor. It was truly surprising how much strength we received from the pastor's words... In fact, the test results were poor the next day and the day after that, and I was told there was no response from the brain at all. We also received the organ donation paperwork. Simon was warm and his heart was beating, but it was entirely through machines. I did not want to believe it. It was so cruel that all the decisions had to be made by the parents. The pastor had suggested sending the baby from the beginning. While worshiping and praising with the pastor in the ICU, we did not cry. Simon looked comfortable and happy. We thought we should let Simon go.
We had a really hard time but decided to go forward with organ donation. We wanted to help sick babies. Simon was an angel, so it seemed he would want to do that too. But it was not easy. It turned out that Simon was the case where the enteritis virus, with a one in ten thousand chance of spreading through blood, had occurred, and ultimately, the organ donation couldn't take place. The hospital was also surprised. We could not find out why our Simon had a cardiac arrest. The cause was unknown. Our Simon was surely an angel. I knew in my head that we had to let him go, but I couldn't make the decision. That night, we held hands tightly and prayed, deciding to let go of Simon, who was already in heaven enjoying himself, and went to the dawn prayer.
That day, the message was "The heavens are opened." Everything seemed to be in line with God's will. We continued to pray in gratitude rather than resentment. And although we did not know what that will was, we thought there must be a reason, and that no other couple could withstand such great suffering so bravely, so we believed that God chose us and gave us Simon to accomplish something greater.
Then a phone call came from the hospital. We were told to stay near the hospital over the weekend. I just felt a certainty. I was sure that angel Park Simon was waiting for Mom and Dad's heart decision. I was grateful to him and sorry. For enduring and completely holding on for Mom and Dad from beginning to end, I felt sorry and grateful, and although it brought tears to my eyes, we promised not to cry in front of Simon. The hospital pastor even baptized Simon. That moment brought happiness and joy. Our Simon looked at peace. It seemed like God loved our sweet and beautiful Simon so much that He granted him the grace to enjoy a much better life in heaven first. Then each family member greeted Simon. Everyone met him without exception, and we held the final worship before letting him go.
The pastor assured us that when Simon goes to heaven and meets God, he will be the first to say, "Mom is struggling, so please send a beautiful younger sibling." And we decided to let Simon go on May 20. Together with the pastor, my husband and I witnessed Simon's last moments. Perhaps it was the sound of the pastor singing that made our hearts feel at peace, and so on May 20 at 5:17 p.m., Simon left our side.
Even though Simon's body is not in this world, I firmly believe that Simon's spirit will always be with us and God. Our goal is to go to heaven. Through Simon, many people have come to seek God and to pray. I see it as just the beginning. We must go to heaven if we want to meet Simon. Simon is our beloved son, like a miracle. We will try to live according to God's word to go to heaven.
Still, being human, I miss him so much and want to touch him, and every time difficult moments come, I seek God, pray, and worship, and quickly regain peace of mind again. The teachers who held onto Simon until the end in the emergency room and brought his heart back to beating, the firefighters who worked hard for Simon at the fire station, the pediatric intensive care nurses who played the recording for us daily and cared for Simon so he could look nice before family meetings, the patient guardians who always encouraged us outside the ICU, the pastors and congregants who prayed wholeheartedly for Simon, the friends, siblings, and many who came to greet Simon, and the grateful people who stayed with us until the last moment of sending him off; there are so many people I am thankful for.
Through Simon, I am truly going through a process of feeling and learning so much. I still cannot fully understand the great will of God, but I do not blame Him. I am grateful for being chosen. Simon received and gave so much love in his 15 months. Although it may be described as short, I hope everyone can find comfort and strength through our Simon, who has shown so many miracles.
Oh, and after sending Simon off, when I prayed at church, I had a vision! I saw Simon happily eating food, walking holding God's hand, and when I was sad, he was acting silly telling me not to cry. I believe all these things are the answers God showed me.
Bo-mi, in conclusion, let us pray diligently. When life gets better and I'm about to let go of God's hand again, remember Simon and don't let go of God's hand. If Simon's heart hadn't started beating again that day in the emergency room, Mom wouldn't have been able to live fully, Simon. Thank you so much; see you in heaven. Everything that has happened to Simon and our family from May 14 to May 20, and even now, are all miracles, and I look forward to what is to come.
[Photo] Park Bo-mi's social media
[OSEN]